Went to the doc yesterday. Had the awkward exam that every pregnant woman sort of wants but really doesn't want. And the results? I am a whopping ZERO centimeters dilated. Yes, that's right folks. His words were, "Nothing yet. You're completely closed."
COMPLETELY CLOSED??? SERIOUSLY???? So all this horrible cramping and back pain and contractions have done NOTHING??? Oh, this is just stupendous. Just wonderful. Labor is going to be awesome. I don't get to skip the first 3 to 4 centimeters like the majority of my friends. Nope, I get to go all the way from 0 to 10 in one shot. Sweet.
Then I mention to the doc that the baby hasn't been moving near as much as I'm used to. The doc asks, "Have you been doing your kick counts?" I told him that yes, I had, but that that is what actually concerns me. In the past, the baby has always been so incredibly active that I haven't had to do kick counts. And now all of a sudden I do need to do them. The doc asked if I got the proper number of kicks when I did do the test. I said yes. But then he said he still wanted to do some fetal monitoring.
So then they hook me up to this machine with two belts around my stomach. One measures the contraction level of my uterus, the other measures the baby's heart rate. They also gave me this little stick with a button on the end and told me to push the button every time I felt the baby move. The nurse said, "As long as baby cooperates, you'll be on here for about 10 to 15 minutes. If baby doesn't cooperate, then you'll be on here a while longer. After that, if baby STILL doesn't cooperate, then you get to go to the hospital so THEY can do the monitoring." I responded, "Well, let's hope he cooperates, then!" (Hospital! I don't want to go to the hospital!! But cooperate? What exactly comprises a baby on a fetal monitor "cooperating"?? Come on Krewson, COOPERATE!!)
So I sat there. And sat there. The nurse brought me some juice and I guzzled it down. Then I sat there some more. The baby didn't move. No budge, no nothing. The doc came in after about 15 minutes and looked at the chart that had been printing out from the machine. He responded, "Well, it doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look as good as we'd like it to." Great. "Just sit there a while longer."
Well at this point I started getting a little anxious. I'm like, ok baby, you didn't cooperate for the first 10-15 minutes. You now get one more shot. If you don't cooperate now, we have to go to the hospital. PLEASE COOPERATE!!!
After another 10 long minutes of waiting, he finally started to wriggle and roll. I was like, oh, thank goodness. He did a roll here, a roll here. A couple jabs at the belts on my waist (like I've mentioned before, he does NOT like things protruding into his space). I got to push the button quite a few times. And then the doc came in, took a look, and said, "Ah, that's what we want to see. It looks good." Thank the Lord. He stopped the machine and unhooked me, then told me I am to do kick counts three times a day, and if at any time I feel concerned I am to come back into the office for more monitoring.
Needless to say, I left the appointment feeling a bit frazzled. Zero centimeters and one long half-hour of waiting to find out if my baby is ok are a but much on the pregnancy hormones. I went home and cried to Dave for a little while, then I felt better. He acted really goofy and silly to cheer me up. As much as I hate it and get annoyed while he's doing it, it usually works. It's hard to keep crying when your husband is bouncing around saying insanely stupid things.
Ah, the drama of being pregnant And soon I will leave it to join in the drama of being a parent. :)